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Monday, January 24, 2011

Of making embarrasing comments and reacting even more wildly!

I write what i want! If its on my mind it has got to be put to writing, its how it is. Today i feel a have to address the use of violence to solve our problems like we were still in the cave-men era where physical superiority was a way of showing just how a cut above the rest you are. In the last three days i have been close to a beating, on two occassions from people i was on friendly terms with no less.
So we are hanging out watching a game of football; emotions are high, arguments on the game come up and before i knew it i had said it....'oa thola marete a gago.'  Guys laugh, he feels offended. I see it in his eyes, he administers a karate chop with his right hand so i equally block unconvincingly. I stand up and people rush to hold him down. I remove myself from the situation. For two big reasons; I cannot fight for s**t! and i love and respect myself too much to engage in a physical confrontation for calling out another man's privates-its bad and embarassing enough i called them out... I mean really.-besides running away is the only aspect of fighting i have mastered over the years.
I cannot justify my action, it was downright wrong. It might not be a big deal if i say it to my roommate and friend because we say it loosely all the time. Some people do not like it and i have made it a point to avoid saying it to people i am not that close to.
After saying it i had immediately realised i was wrong. the next words out of my mouth i thought were clear....'hoo ke phoso, gare kae rae bua ha gare ga batho, i was out of line'.
My point is i have never faught with anyone in my life and i never will for i feel it is beyond me. Physical confrontation might have made a person vastly popular in corridors from primary schools but for two grown men it borders on the absurd. I understand when people are angry they react and that it usually means coming to blows, unfortunately. I know i was wrong but am i the only wrong party in the whole situation? Respect for me is important and once i lose that for you it could be hard to get it back. Who fights? i mean seriously! imagine if i get a lifelong scar, for a guy like me who wants to have children at some point in time will i be proud having to explain it to them?
I am not proud for what happened, i doubt i ever will be. Cursed be the day i will be seen fighting, no matter how i have wronged you or vise versa. How will people look at us? Nna go ntlhabisa ditlhong!
I have already remarked on how wrong i was, and have apologised to said party for my crude behaviour but i feel he too did not react in the best way to ensure we left the situation feeling like the true gentlemen we are. I feel its the truth. Had he confronted me one on one like the respectable being he must be about my behaviour i would have been even more remorseful, but he took an already out of hand situation and turned it into a juvinile confrontation.....Quite embrassing!
If it is on my mind it will be put down in writing. 
LPN117

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