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Monday, January 10, 2011

Of being a real man

Compliments of the new season, its been a while....hope you welcomed it in style. During the month of December 2010 i stumbled upon a campaign across television:19 days of activism with regards to gender based violence. It was all about men who hit their women and i just thought i would say a few words about what i think as usual....
The biggest question on everyone who has never been abused or someone who has never been in such an environment is always similar...Why do they not leave? They always wonder what makes these women stay in such corrosive relationships and rightly so.
>A crazy friend of mine claims its in the making up part. This she says is more popular among new relationships, still in the infatuation stages. She cannot believe he hit her and when he comes to apologise and they make up it creates a bond and rumour has it the sex is overly crazy. Then it becomes just hard for the lovesick puppy to leave the relationship then, she wants him to tone it down yes but during odd moments she misses being hit since it turns her on-A strange but true freudean analysis.
>Financial muscle of the abuser sometimes plays a big role in such a relationship. The partner is afraid to leave for fear of being financially unstable-get a few bruises and broken ribs but drive a mercedez at family functions;keeping up appearances. For some its for the sake of their children.
>Others just buffle us; we do not understand why they choose to stay in abusive relationships.....the abusive partner ke sekopa fela. He has no money, no job and would not recognise an orgasm if it ran in-front of him naked. So why are holding on? Love? Im pretty sure it has never hurt that bad to be in-love.

With that said i would like focus on all men out there abuser or not. Back in the days expressing your physical dominance over a female partner might have been considered manly but times have changed my dear fellows;You are just being an animal. A real man listens and discusses, he does not lash out. A real man need not beat a woman to feel superior he earns respect by dsiplaying it. A real man places the needs of his family in-front of his no matter what. Ebile do not go about bragging about it because ore tlhabisa ditlhong eseng sepe gape. If you are not ready to settle down do not make such a commitment-you might abuse her and treat her like garbage but another man will idolise her. Why take her so you terrorise her...i thought you loved her? Let fear not be mistaken for either love or loyalty. Be a real man and see that you are hurting the people around you.
Wena yoo irisang basadi degrading and demeaning acts so you feel superior, are abusive. Change your ways.
Lastly i would like to give a 'big up' to the men who have admitted to being animals and are vying for change...we cannot all be perfect i know but still, our behaviour as men towards women is sometimes overly disgusting and i hope we rectify these errors.
Be a ReaL man!!! Indoda...-a lover not a fighter. a person a child should run to, rather than run from.

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