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Thursday, September 20, 2012

What happened to real men?

I read a story from the Mmegi newspaper (vol. 29, #140, 19th Sept) that left me in utter despair; Sad and ashamed on behalf of all men and father figures across the world. A man aged 56 was convicted of raping his two step-daughters since they were aged 10 and 11 respectively. The prosecution is currently busy trying to prove that the man was fully aware he was HIV positive whilst he routinely raped the girls he had legitimized by giving them his family name when he married their mother. It is reported that the accused person ‘monitored their movements, went to their school playgrounds to check on them and got into a jealous rage when boys played with them.’ The magistrate in charge of the case also expressed his disappointment with the mother of the children and wife to the accused. She had not responded to the issue with great urgency in a bid to save her relationship with the accused.

I am just so sad man. So sad. This is not the first case of its kind and it is not going to be the last but I am just tired. I am tired of these men who have totally decided to paint the rest of the male population as monsters and dead-beats. I am tired of the mistreatment the girl-child is repeatedly exposed to in our societies or communities. I am tired of women who continue to harbor monsters in their homes, giving us a bad example. All the pain and suffering inflicted by people who should have been protectors just makes me mad. What happened to people!? When did it all go wrong!? How can a man be so irresponsible and evil? How?

Fathers, biological or not, are supposed to be the protector, the provider, the discipliner. He is generally a rock to lean on. Daughters are supposed to sleep sound at night knowing their father would rather die than let anything happen to them. Fathers are those guys who work like slaves just so a child would also get the chance to wear a brand new school uniform like all the other kids. A father is the guy who is supposed to shoulder the responsibility and worry of the family, the child’s only job should be to play and laugh. As a child you are not supposed to worry about where the next meal is going to come from, that’s your daddy’s job, he is THAT GUY!!!

When your family loves, respects you and feels safe around you, you are a real man my friend, I am not even going to front about that shit.

Nothing says you are a man when you rape and threaten to kill your children. You are just a sorry excuse of a man, an animal, they are the ones that sleep with their off-springs and eat their young. Not only are you ruining their lives, you are distorting their view on how a REAL man is supposed to handle himself. As young males growing up around men who beat their women, who cheat and do all the bad things you can think of, we grow up with that misguided idea of what a man, a father is supposed to be like. The bottom line is father figures of these days just do not cut it, they are an embarrassment to us all; we need to change, real men need to step up and set a bar very high.

I personally never had the opportunity to have that positive father figure we all crave for; I have had to teach myself how to treat a woman. My mother was there to let me know how to hold it down. From how she raised me I know what I would have to do when my kids look up to me to step up, I am ready. I see a lot of how my mother raised me and my sister in how my sister raises her two beautiful girls, I call them my babies. I would kill anyone who would hurt them; I would do anything to protect them because it is what you do for the people you love. That’s who you are supposed to be for your child, she has to need you, feel safe, not scared and psychologically damaged.

Fathers are not supposed to lust after their own daughters or rape them. As a father in life if you have failed to gain the respect of your child you are a failure. As a father if your child does not run to you for protection you are a failure.

I just wish men would step up, lead by example and make us be proud to be born as men. Make us look forward to being fathers, not this disgusting precedence that has been set.
Women who accommodate these monsters are also equally to blame more than anything else. Going around placing your happiness ahead of your child is criminal.

Let us strive to be better, as men, as fathers. Our women need us, our children need us. Let us stop battering them. Its just wrong. Shameful and very wrong.

I am just disappointed.